Ustazah

I feel sorry for people who've had bad experience in the past with their ustaz/ustazah. I personally have never experienced anything significantly bad, however I do remember this one strict but kind ustazah back in high school. When I was in form 4, I left for MRSM but only managed to stay there for 3 weeks. I couldn't handle the pressure (being one of the few second intake students didn't make adapting easier) and we all know what stress does to eczema.

So I went back to my previous school, all happy because I get to be with my friends again in a school close to home. I SO did not miss the prep sessions and crazy amount of schoolwork urgh. The next thing I know, the new gossip in the teacher's room is that there is this one kid who ran away from mrsm. I don’t know the details, but I imagined it wasn’t that the teachers are impressed that the kid left boarding school!

What can I say, life was easy back then. These two ladies on my right are now married with children btw 😎

A teacher even made a PSA during class, "Kalau anak saya la masuk mrsm jangan harapla senang-senang je nak balik semula". She said it while we were doing our math exercises and wasn't talking to me alone, so I replied "Entah siapa lah tu" loudly. The only teacher who bothered asking me the reason I came back was that ustazah. When I told her my reasons, she nodded and walked away. I find it odd back then, why did she even bothered asking? I'm fine being talked about by the teachers, as long as my classmates are cool with me then I'm good. I understood why now.

I was awful at basketball, my friends never really pass me the ball when we play. For some reason I have a medal in my room, can't remember how that happened.

I know it's not easy to simply ignore it when everyone else is gossipping the juiciest stories of that week/month/year. I'm grateful that the ustazah has shown me that it is possible not to engage in such things, eventhough I didn't understand it back then.

Gossiping is fun, trust me, I KNOW. But over the years I find talking about happy things with my friends make me happier. Of course there are times when we need to talk about someone without them knowing, but I think it's a good idea to try keeping our intentions pure and only include details that are pertinent to the conversation. After all, if everyone in this world only care about themselves (kubur sendiri-sendiri mindset), I don't think Allah will be very pleased with us, kan?

💓N